for further information or to attend please contact Wanda Buckner

All that’s really needed to upgrade our lives from the gray days of winter is our willingness to look carefully at nature’s signals. However, it’s frighteningly easy to succumb to the pessimism of the news, the political scene, and personal life challenges. Many, in fact, disconnect from social and personal pain by giving up or denying realities. They “ numb out” or withdraw themselves from deeper levels of caring.

The courage to think, feel, and participate in the genuine challenges that exist in today’s world does not come easily. It requires careful attention to our energies and needs. Here are some suggestions from the helpful new field of energy psychology to give you some guidelines:

• Treat yourself as often as needed for discouragement  about today’s world by gently massaging the heart area in the mid-chest while stating, “Even through the world  seems so difficult and challenging (or use your own words and rant), I still deeply and profoundly accept myself.” Repeat at least three times while breathing deeply and shaking out a sense of heaviness.
• Decide on at least one positive action you can take to influence decision-makers in your community and national government. This may be a simple as sending an E-mail to your local or state elected official. It may include joining a group to acknowledge and connect with environmental issues. It may involve helping someone in need. Whatever you choose, acknowledge that you can be an active participant in the world around you.
• Reach out to others who are facing issues similar to your own. Friends and support groups are the web of life in healthy communities.  Since human beings are basically social, we need each other to feel comfortable and supported. Don’t try to solve the world’s problems or your personal issues by yourself.
• Acknowledge and release negativity as quickly as possible. Immediately recognize negative content on the news or within your own thoughts by tapping relevant acupoints. Here’s a sequence that works well for many  people: Tap 10-15 times at the place where the nose and eyebrow meet, or hold your fingers there while deeply breathing in and exhaling fully. Tap or hold at the temples repeating the same process. Now follow by tapping or holding under the nose, at the collar bone knobs and at the sides of both hands.
• Connect with empowering messages to yourself while tapping the same acupoints and using phrases such as, “ I release the negative to make room for my strengths,” “I am loveable and capable,” “ I align my energies with forces of goodwill and peace,” I attract the resources I need to bring positive change to my community.”

The gift of these exercises is that they are completely within your power to control. Our minds are powerful beyond belief. If we use them with conscious intention, we can make a difference in our attitudes and positively influence the world.

The second half of life in which many of us have more time to invest in meaningful activity can be a time to influence and help those in need. Retirement dedicated to playing of games or limited thinking is no longer a useful option. The research on brain plasticity assures us we can learn and grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually until our last earthly breath. Brain cells love novelty, stimulation, and adventure.

Release the old myths about aging and become a “re-fired,” feisty, sexy participant in the fullness of your life!

Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer is the author of Second Chance at Your Dream, the first book to apply the insights of energy psychology to optimal aging, creativity and health and a leading “re-firement” expert.

Here are excerpts: “Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer is a psychotherapist and co-founder of theAssociation for Comprehensive Energy Psychology. She has writtenSecond Chance at Your Dream as a guide for healing, cleansing, and renewing. …to change destructive thought patterns and usher in freshness and vitality. The fifteen chapters include introduction and explanation of the body’s  energy system and exercises to promote health in each of them. Drawing from Eastern philosophies and practices of meditation and guided imagery, one has the ability to…connect with  vital energy, and to flow with it into peace, happiness and fulfillment.

Second Chance at your Dream provides a glossary of terms to help with understanding key concepts. The recommended exercises are not only given in step-by-step format, they are pictured to help with their implementation. Suggested readings and additional resources are offered in the back of the book. It is the hope of the author that we will open ourselves to the mysteries that surround us, allowing them to inspire us, and lend shape to our dreams.”

Whatever the reasons, real romance needs refiring. Especially if you are in a long-term committed relationship. Nothing happens automatically. Research about marriages shows that couples who carefully attend to their relationship on a daily basis are the happiest and most fulfilled. Such successful connecting over time is often described in idealized terms which can fill outsiders with envy or awe. Good relationship mathematics exceeds usual number concepts: One and one does not make two, rather we may hear ideas such as, “My partner and I are able to cut our stresses in half and to quadruple our happiness.”

Romance is often associated with one’s significant other and symbolized with the hearts of Valentines. The real romance in life, however, begins with the relationship to oneself. You might want to ask yourself the following questions:

• Do I really appreciate my talents and gifts?
• Do I nurture my body and listen to its messages?
• Do I love who I am or who I am becoming?
• Am I willing to learn something new each day?
• Do I look forward to the adventure of learning about myself as I relate to my partner?

As we explore these questions, we recognize how essential personal joy, vitality, and courage are to the health of a love relationship with someone else. No partner, fairy godmother or knight in shining armor can bestow the gift that brings truthfulness and heart-centered intimacy to a relationship with another person if one’s sense of self-worth is diminished or missing.

Here are some suggestions from the new field of energy psychology for “re-firing” your passion for life and your own being so you can be fully responsive to your special partner.

• Think of five things about yourself you really like. Then think of five more. Let the list grow as you notice good choices you’ve made for your health and well-being.
• Affirm your strengths while gently massaging the heart area in the mid-chest with, “I deeply and profoundly accept myself with all my gifts, talents, and abilities.” This also includes acknowledging, “I deeply and profoundly accept myself with all my faults, problems, and limitations.” In other words, we can recognize our issues without losing the connection to caring and self-esteem.
• Acknowledge the human reality of making mistakes. A slip of the tongue, a wrong choice– hundreds of possibilities exist each day for tripping up or putting oneself down. Note one of the most pressing issues toward the end of each day and be willing to explore what happened. Sometimes, it helps to write it down to survey the details of a situation.
• Ask yourself, what can I learn from the mistake? what can I do differently in the future? Be willing to learn from the identified mistake since we all make mistakes but not all are willing to learn and grow.
• Affirm the reality within yourself, “Even though this____ happened, or I wish I had not said/done___, I still deeply and profoundly accept myself.” This positive self-statement may include a sense of letting go or forgiving oneself and of making amends with another person if possible. It does not mean abandoning oneself or ignoring the truth of one’s mistake but rather enhances positive self-responsibility.
• Reconnect with your many resources and strengths so you can effectively set boundaries with your actions and choices. As you learn to trust yourself you will be able to note when something is amiss in your interactions with others and to avoid abusive relationships.

As a counselor I have often been asked by lonely or divorced clients how to find the right person for their lives. My answer is to start with the self-caring resources of energy psychology as outlined here. There is no fairy tale romance that can outlast life’s many challenges without a good sense of your self-worth. Instead of looking for the right person with whom to share your life, BE the right person. Be the confident, self-caring, and yes! –romantic person you have every right to be. Refire your passion for life!

As you learn to love and live with your own very best friend, you will attract the kind of person who can resonate with you and share the great adventure of life.

Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer is the author of Second Chance at Your Dream and a leading expert in personal “re-firement.”

“Save the dates for Seattle, WA, March 5-7, 2010 for the Pacific Northwest’s Women’s show www.nwwomenshow.com. On Friday, March 5, as part of this wonderful show for women of all ages, I will be interviewing on stage Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer, author of two recent leading books about energy therapies, Second Chance at Your Dream and Healing Touch Guidebook, twentieth anniversary ed., and her colleague Stephanie Eldringhoff, Bellevue therapist, for an hour. We will be speaking about health and wellness and the body’s energy resources for self-care and healing.”

Instead of making a list of resolutions which usually don’t work very well, I encourage you to look within and notice what speaks to you and lights your fires. Write down the two or three things you really want for yourself and begin to actualize them with your thoughts, images, and new actions.

The new field of energy psychology offers marvelous tools for connecting with yourself in hopeful ways to honor the promise you can make for personal well-being. While you cannot change other people unless they are willing, the one place you have the power for real change and growth is within yourself.

Many people resolve to diet, exercise, or follow an interest only to find their dreams eroded quickly with the flurry of every-day demands. If better physical health is really your goal, begin by affirming your most sincere wish for it and commit to at least one activity each day related to your goal.

Here are some suggestions for accomplishing what you most desire with the help of your own energy resources:

• State your intention while tapping lightly on the thymus area of the upper mid-chest. This is the master gland of the immune system and the tapping sends messages to all parts of your body, mind, and spirit. Repeat this intention as often as possible.
• Indentify the words that most capture your intention and memorize them.  Examples: “I want to dissolve tension in my body” or “ I want to release five extra pounds” or “I want to keep my calm in difficult situations, or “I want to think more clearly by increasing my exercise levels.”
• Visualize the action that is most directly related to your true desire. For example, actions to meet the goals listed would be: see and feel your muscles releasing tension; eat smaller food portions more slowly; take several deep breaths when faced with conflict; move the body by walking, swimming or dancing.
• Draw a picture of the action or get an image from a magazine and place it and the words that best fit on a poster you can see often. The bedroom, bathroom or car are places where you will most likely notice the poster.
• Look in the mirror and talk of your desire as often as possible. Make the endeavor come alive as an adventuresome project that deserves your best effort.
• Release any negative thinking quickly. Many people have doubting inner self-talk, a series of constant “yes-but” objections. Begin letting go of objections by affirming, “Even though some part of me has these doubts, I deeply and profoundly accept myself and hold the commitment to my goal.”
• Tap or hold selected acupoints to activate your body’s energetic messaging system. For example, while focusing on releasing the objection to the goal-related action, tap the place each of the acupoints listed here 10-15 times: where the eyebrow meets the nose (bladder meridian) the bony rim at the crease of the eyes (gall bladder meridian), under the nose (governing vessel), at the knobs on each side of the notch at the top of the sternum (kidney meridian), and at the outer side of the hand (small intestine meridian).
• Take several deep breaths, releasing fully each time, and acknowledge your inner strengths. Affirm your strengths and self-worth. Make positive self-statements that support your intentions and actions while again tapping or holding the acupoints mentioned. Examples: “I deserve the body weight that is right for me” or “ I deserve to move my body to enhance my ability to think clearly” or “I am effectively in charge of my life” or “I can manifest what I desire with my actions.”
• Consciously reward yourself for doing the new activity. Each time the action is repeated, ideally at about the same time each day, you will begin to build a positive habit with the self-affirming joy of inner mastery. When the new pattern is firmly in place after 2-3 months, add another goal to build on your success.

The gift of this work with your own energy system is that it’s entirely under your control. No external pill, diet, or expense is required, and thankfully there are no side-effects. The strengths you build are yours to keep and enjoy.

May your new year be filled with the adventure of self-discovery by lighting the fires of your inner strengths!

Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer is the author of Second Chance at Your Dream and a leading expert in personal “re-firement.”

Seven Simple Steps to Stress -free Holidays

Dorothea Hover-Kramer                                                                                        www.secondchancedream.com

Our thoughts are exceedingly powerful. Think about the human collective thoughts have that have created a holiday season that celebrates, in part, a humble man born in a barn who generously taught and gave to others for free. But, instead of following his call to simplicity, love, and inner harmony, his birthday and surrounding holidays have become a time of high expectations of ourselves and others. Often, even thoughts of “the holidays” generate a sense of gloom, anxiety, and personal stress.

Clearly, we deserve to rethink ways of having meaningful end-of- year-holidays that neither strain our budgets nor our coping skills. For example, the intention to create something meaningful with your friends or families during the holidays can begin anytime. If you care for someone, you might see an item that is “just right” during the calendar year. Sharing something, even small, from an adventure you had enriches the personal value of the gift. It becomes a sign on of your thoughtfulness instead of a measure of your pocketbook.

Reaching beyond the idea of gift-giving, think of a valued service you could perform for someone you love. This would mean giving of yourself, your time, and energy at an entirely different level from fighting crowds in a store. Pet-cargiving, house-watching, picking up food items or prescriptions, researching information on the Internet, sitting with someone who needs a companion, helping with planning for an outing—all are needed in some way by most people you know. A clever homemade “gift certificate” can document your specific objective to help out.

The new science of energy psychology also provides  self-care tools that can help us to reshape our beliefs and empower reaching out with simple gestures to others. Here are some suggestions to help you get started:

• Take time to think about each person you wish to reach.  Think of the senses the person most enjoys—visual beauty, music, something to touch, a smell or taste. Be creative in connecting with their interests or wishes  which may be very similar to your own.
• Be open to accepting help for yourself. Think about what gives you pleasure or enhances your appreciation of life. Let your wishes and interests be known so your loved ones have a direction for giving back. For example, if you like to cook but hate to shop, ask for someone to shop for the needed ingredients o to help with clean-up.
• Treat any limiting belief about how things ought to be with a gentle rub to the heart area and the affirmation, “Even though this year is different from the past, I deeply and profoundly accept myself and my willingness to try out new ways to celebrate my friendships and life.” Look for opportunities to celebrate by collaborating with others.
• Set your intention for the kind of holiday you really want by tapping gently on the center of the chest, the thymus area that is the master gland of the immune system. Share your intention with your loved ones so they can support your goal.
• Notice your internal stress levels which may register with bodily symptoms such as shortness of breath, sweating, feeling cold, or intestinal cramping. Also note any anxious feelings, worry about expenses or outcomes of get-togethers.
• Treat your anxiety directly by tapping gently 10-15 times on the meridian acupoints that are most related to anxiety: where the eyebrow meets the nose, at the outer eye, under the lip, at the collar bone and at the side of the hand. Use a reminder phrase such as “releasing this worry” with each of the acupoints you treat.
• Repeat a positive phrase that reminds you often of your intention to lower expectations of yourself and others while at the same time reaching out in fun-loving, genuine ways. “I choose to expect less, love more” provides one such direct communication. You can install the positive phrase by tapping the same acupoints as those listed.

Often, spontaneous times of laughing, eating, and talking will be recalled more than a fancy gift or endeavor. I asked my adult children recently what they most remembered about past holidays. Like most moms, I worked hard to buy the gifts they wanted, cook the right foods, decorate the house, and invite their friends. I was surprised at the answers: “ I liked the candles and the smell of balsam”… “doing the dishes and singing rounds”… “hearing the bells and the songs”… “having warm socks and clothes”… “the smell of cookies in the oven”… “making a dish together in the kitchen”… “telling each other stories.”

There was no mention of designer clothes, shopping at the malls, trips to special places, or specific gifts although I did my best to supply these. It was the climate of caring and warmth that counted and was most remembered.

May your holidays be rich with a celebration of your sharing, your reflections, your unique presence, and, with it, your  laughter!

Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer is the author of Second Chance at Your Dream, a book filled with over fifty energy psychology self-care exercises.

This article has been posted widely on internet article sites including the National Association for Baby Boomer Women NABBW to view there press HERE.

This article is  also featured on EzineArticles and Dorothea is selected as their expert. for details click Here.