www.secondchancedream.com

Famed journalist and commentator Bill Moyers is considering doing a series on aging now that he’s turning eighty. Fortunate for all of us, there’s no stopping this wonderfully creative and dedicated information analyst. He states in a recent AARP bulletin article that he and his wife of nearly sixty years are “. . .fascinated by what science and experience are discovering about how to maintain high mental and physical ability as we grow older; how to reduce the risk of disease and disability; why attitude matters; and the importance of wonder, surprise, and joy.”

What great topics for all of us—at any age! But sadly I note how many people seem to think their lives are “done” at a certain age and settle into times of relatively meaningless activities rather than participating in the important personal and social issues of the day.

I encourage each of you dear readers to ask yourself the important questions for your life:

• What is the real purpose of my life?
• How do I want to be remembered by family and friends?
• What do I still want to do and accomplish?
• How am I holding myself back from fully expressing my gifts and talents?

As you take a quick self-review, you may note that some things are going very well, some aspects or endeavors seem to be “on hold,” and you may have put off exploring parts of yourself in the second half of life without taking the second chance at your dream.

Here are some suggestions I’ve gleaned from energy psychology that keep me moving toward a better and more fulfilling life of meaning and joy.

• Envision how you want to look ten years from now. Think of someone who is ten years older than you, a person you would like to emulate.
• Envision what you would like to be doing, the things you want to learn, the people you’d like to meet, the parts of the world you want to explore.
• Breathe slowly and carefully as you give details to your imagery—remember form always follows thought. Mind is the arrow that helps us to celebrate our present moments and creates the vision of the future.
• Write down what you wish to see, hear, feel, and experience.
• Now move the body with “figure eight” movements that cross your midline for three to five minutes. This integrates right and left hemispheres of the brain, right and left sides of the body.
• Similarly, use the “cross crawl” (right hand on left knee, left hand on right knee, back and forth) whenever you feel sluggish, a bit cold, or undecided.
• While holding the image of your goal, treat any reluctance or tendency to hold back by gently massaging the heart area and repeating the positive statement, “Even though I have a tendency to hold back, or shy away from creating the life I want, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. And, I forgive myself.”
• Breathe as fully as possible while repeating the hand gesture and affirmation at least three times. Allow ten more minutes for freely generating images of your future and writing down your next steps. Enjoy what you can discover!

Part of my work in the last months has been to explore writing my memoir. My vision is to see my grandchildren reading it and learning about the world in which I grew up. Hopefully, it will encourage their social consciences to work for democracy and peace, two qualities that were sadly missing from my childhood. I surmised it could be a formidable task, not to be taken on without guidance. Fortunately, when you know what you want, resources come to your attention.

I found an excellent teacher, read the work of the National Association of Memoir Writers, and signed up for a class. In my spare time, I now can gather precious moments of the past and help them to come alive through writing.

While this endeavor may not be akin to your interests at all, I encourage you to turn your dreams and ideas into opportunities for learning and stretching. The mind loves having things to do. The great poet Tenyson calls to all of us in the second half of life:

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,

To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!

As though to breathe were life!”

Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer is a national leader in “re-firement” creative aging and creating meaningful lifestyles–at any age.

Here’s the text:

I must admit when I thought about reviewing a book on ethical standards, I braced myself with a double latte preparing for a dry review of ethics and practice considerations with a healthy dose of warnings about what I better change about my way of working, but I was terribly mistaken.  This is the first book I have ever read related to ethical practice that became hard to put down because it involved a very personal journey of reflection within a safe holding environment.  It invites us to utilize our own chakra systems, intuition, transpersonal experiences and archetypal awareness as platforms for discovery serving ourselves, our clients and communities.

The award-winning book’s dedication reads …”This book is dedicated to those who seek the human truth of caring for others in their lives and who, by doing so, also bring healing to themselves and the wider world.”  This is a concise summary of a superb book related to ethical practice that will deliver great value to its readers.  Dorothea has produced a book with heart and wisdom that will guide all of us to practice energy healing with an invigorated sense of who we are, how to apply self-care and deepen our development as practitioners of high integrity.

The book is divided into four sections.  All sections include realistic vignettes, ethical principles and related standards of practice.  The first section is devoted to the basics of practice considerations such as risk management and legal principles, plus a thorough overview of energy therapies within the context of complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) and background on several national organization and education resources proponents of CAM.  The second section is entitled “Walking Your Talk…” where the opportunities for self care and reflection begin in earnest.  Especially useful is a table relating the chakras to practice challenges with sample resolution strategies and affirmations.  The third section’s focus is on creating healing relationships with clients and includes chapters on fiduciary responsibilities (e.g. level of competence, boundaries, professional responsibility and right use of power), non-ordinary states of consciousness and utilization of archetypal material.  There is a shift in section four to extending standards for healing relationships with colleagues, other healthcare professionals and our communities.  This section’s chapters offer many insights into building bridges that support the growth of energy modalities and their natural inclusion in accepted health care approaches.  Here can be found an exhaustive checklist for “establishing healthy relationships in your energy practice”.

This book should be on the required reading list for any energy based training program.  Dorothea’s ability to take the topic of practice standards and create an engaging path of self discovery for the practitioner that leads to self healing and client centered practice is outstanding.  This is a book to have and savor.

~~Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer has been a clinical nurse specialist and psychologist for more than thirty years.  She has also been a long time teacher of Healing Touch and energy psychology.  She is co-founder of the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP), a past president and one of the initial developer’s of ACEP’s Comprehensive Energy Psychology Certification Program.  Dorothea has authored eight other books about energy therapies including Second Chance at Your Dream: Engaging Your Body’s Energy Resources for Optimal Aging, Creativity and Healing Touch: Essential Energy Medicine for Yourself and Others.

Stephanie Eldringhoff is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Seattle for more than thirty years and is well-known for her work with Donna Eden’s energy medicine training program as well a being a trainer for ACEP’s certification program.

The new field of energy psychology offers specific resources for enhancing heart-centered feeling, thinking, and action. Close to the physical location of the heart pump is the heart energy center which allows energy to be received into your entire energy system from the Universal Energy Flow. The heart center also permits your energy to flow out from your intention to each bodily cell and to your loved ones. The nearby thymus gland in the middle of the chest is also the master gland of the immune system, so when you tap gently on the mid-chest area you can activate positive thoughts toward your immune system, circulation, and hundreds of bodily processes that take place all the time even while we’re asleep.

Here are some suggestions for staying heart-centered for your own well-being, in your interactions with others, and for weathering difficult times:

• Start by activating your energy system by gently tapping on the mid-chest area thinking of all the parts of the physical body this gesture engages.
• While tapping, add a clear statement of your intention toward yourself. Samples: “I want to increase my sense of well-being”… “I want to be fully present in ___situation”… “With every breath I increase my sense of inner strength and my capacities.”
• Address any tension you feel about an interaction that has happened recently by gently rubbing the heart area and stating with honesty, “Even thought this (name it) has happened, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
• Repeat several times until you begin to feel a resolution, the possibility of releasing the distress. Remember hanging on to unhappiness will not change other people but it will affect your heart and all of the interrelated cells and structures in your body. Grudges are burdens because the body keeps the score.
• Still holding the heart center, reaffirm, “I am effectively in charge of my life” …. “As I love and forgive myself, I am more able to love ad forgive others.”
• Allow every part of your being– feelings, thoughts, and spirit—to hold a clear vision of your energetic heart as a radiant beacon for yourself and others.

Being heart-centered creates an inner beauty that radiates to the heart centers of others. Audrey Hepburn was not only a beautiful  actress but a great humanitarian. She understood the heart in magical ways, and here are her “beauty tips” when asked for a glossy magazine interview: “For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone….Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands: one for helping yourself and one for helping others.”

Just writing and reading this has helped me to turn this rather gray winter day out my window into one I anticipate with wonder, curiosity, and positive feelings. May each of you find the pleasure of contacting your heart center with kindness, forgiveness, and joy!

~~

Dorothea is excited about offering this course in the Big Apple, at the mid-town conference center,  on the weekend of March 31 and April 1, 2012. Co-presenters will be Greg nicosia, Ph.D., DCEP and Gary Peterson, MD, DCEP, both members of the certification committee.  Teaching assistant will be Sheila Bender, Ph.D., DCEP.  The course is open to psychotherapists from many disciplines as well as all interested healthcare or allied professionals. Interest in certification is encouraged  but not required to attend. For further information please contact www.energypsych.org

Deciding what we really want to accomplish is one of the happy tasks of the New Year and one that can readily be enhanced  by knowing how energy in your system works to help balance body, mind, and spirit.

Here’s an exercise you may wish to add to one of your meditative practices, especially when the weather constricts usual activities:

• List five interests you want to expand and find out more about this year.
• List five new activities you would like to  engage in this year .
• List three or more positive, hopeful thoughts you want to give yourself whenever there is an obstacle or challenge to initiating any of the items on your lists. Examples: “The Universe supports me in every new endeavor”…“The more I open to learning, the more joy I bring to my life”… “With each conscious breath I bring support and health to my body”…’ My intention now becomes an action.”
• Select one interest or action from your lists and commit to implementing it in some form each day for the next five days.
• After you’ve selected your idea or interest, bring an affirmation of your intention to each of the energy centers in your body starting at the base of the spine:
• Base chakra: “I affirm my aliveness and vitality in my goal to ________”
• Sacral chakra: “I feel my right to choose to engage in_______”
• Solar Plexus chakra: “My will is strong to meet the daily commitment of _______.”
• Health Charka: “ I love and accept myself fully even when part of me falters. I forgive myself and continue with _____.”
• Throat chakra: “My creativity shines with my selected action of ______”
• Brow chakra: “My intuition supports my intention to my goal of _____”
• Crown chakra: “My soul aligns with its true purpose as I hold to my  intention and repeat  that I have chosen____. I am in sync with my passion and joy.”
• To add vibrancy to your words hold each energy center and add a light spin toward the left (clockwise) to imbed your intention even more fully.

One of my friends started with the intention of writing her memoirs for her grandchildren. It’s wise to capture memorable events at any time of life, but especially in the second half of life, your adventures and how you managed difficulties become a gift to future generations. Of course, it’s easy to become discouraged all by oneself. Fortunately, there is a whole network, websites, and classes available. (see for example, National Association of Memoir Writers (NAMW),  customersupport@namw.org or call 1-877-e-memoir.

My friend initially set the goal of contacting other friends who had engaged in a similar project. Then, she signed up for the free website link and now receives lots of information about memoir writing. Next week she plans to learn about classes both local, by telephone conference, and online. In the meantime, she spends a half hour  three times a week writing about one incident that especially changed her life. Thus, you can follow how a single intention can gradually lead to a more serious commitment.

With each month in 2012, a portion of this precious year of your life has already elapsed. We have time to develop our ideas and creativity but this is your best time to set intentions, make them your goals, and accomplish something new.

Enjoy your being and the vast potentials of your creative, multi-faceted mind!

Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer, psychologist and educator is a leader in “re-firement” in the second half of life and author of Second Chance at Your Dream and Healing Touch: Essential energy medicine for yourself and others.

Dorothea is excited about offering this course in the Pacific Northwest, close to the Portland airport. The course is open to psychotherapists from many disciplines as well as all interested healthcare or allied professionals. Interest in certification is available but not required to attend. For further information please contact www.energypsych.org

Somehow, Diane gets the sense that all she has done is not good enough and more is needed. But what? As we talk further, it appears that Diane has fallen into the ever-present seductions of the holiday season. We’re supposed to be incredibly happy at this time of year—after all, everyone on TV is ecstatic about lavish presents from jewelry to cars. Images all around us are of blissful children, glamorous scenes, and unbounded affluence.

Most people’s realities are quite different: traffic is actually worse, often shoppers are glum and harried, the weather is crummy, finances may be tight, and many feel emptier, not happier, than usual. Could it be that people have been seduced by some kind of Christmas ideal, an imagined fantasy world that does not exist? Could it be that we’ve lost the value of human connections and sharing that can make any day or holiday meaningful?

Asking ourselves important questions may open a path to self-discovery and overcoming the most pressing addictions to Christmas commercialism and hype. Here are some sample queries to consider:

• How am I really feeling?
• To what am I addicted, such as what am I demanding of myself ? what am I expecting of others?
• What really gives me joy?
• Whom can I contact to share a valuable connection?
• What activity can I seek out?
• How can I find more delight in the natural world around me?
• How can reach out or find new interests?

Approaches that work with the human energy system like the family of therapies called “energy psychology,” begin by acknowledging one’s internal emotional climate. Thus, we begin by facing the true feeling engendered by the holiday season which for many may range from “bah humbug!” to feeling out of sorts, empty, or dissatisfied. Gently addressing our own hearts begins to honor feelings and open the door to new personal possibilities.

Along with the nostalgia for better times  we also hold also the knowledge of who we really are if we are willing to look deeply enough. We are timeless energy beings having a temporary experience of socially or internally imposed demands –some of which are made visible in current holiday madness.

I encourage my friends to work with affirmations that acknowledge genuine feelings as well as their wishes for personal peace, tranquility, joy, and resilience. For example, here is the self-statement Diane developed, “Even though I feel a bit out of sorts right now, I deeply honor and accept myself, my many strengths, and am finding my path to wholeness.” After repeating this positive affirmation several times, Diane began listing the many talents she has and often neglects. She also became more aware of ways she holds herself back from expressing who she is. Holding back one’s gifts is a pattern many have learned in order to “fit in” and  please other people rather than being who we really are.

Diane recalled she loved cooking but since her daughter was doing all the holiday preparations, she was in effect without her usual nurturing role and feeling displaced.

“Who might appreciate your cooking in your community?” I asked.

“Lots of people at the local homeless shelter,” Diane mused thoughtfully and then added, “But that would be such a big step for me.”

“By all means,” I replied, “Don’t hold back this year. Try something new, not just to meet obligations but to experience the adventure of learning and sharing what you love to do. If cooking is your thing, then do it to the glory of the Highest Good.”

Whatever Diane chooses, she agrees does not need to be stuck in vague dissatisfaction with herself and feeling unneeded. Every one of us lives in a community where someone needs exactly the talent or interest we have, the very quality you’re likely holding back.

Let this holiday time become one of an adventure –exploring yourself, making time for looking within, and letting yourself reach out anew in creative, positive ways. The great Sufi poet Rumi invites us to this adventure: “Let yourself be silently drawn to the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”

~~

Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer is a national leader in seeing retirement in new ways—“re-firement” for sharing yourself with others—and author of Second Chance at Your Dream.

Expressing appreciation shifts human perceptions and, with them, our energies, in positive ways. Every time I exchange my worries, criticisms, or complaints for gratitude, I find a sense of peace within and move to expanding joyfulness.

Here are some ways from energy psychology you can use to  transform your own internal landscape by engaging increased mindfulness for the good that surrounds you.

• Notice when you feel heavy, burdened, or irritated.
• Ask yourself to fully connect to the emotion and see it as a springboard for change. E-motion is energy in motion and therefore paves the way for new possibilities.
• Gently rub the heart center in the mid-chest or any part of the body where you most feel the charge.
• Add an affirmation that imbeds recognition and self-respect such as, “Even though I feel_(name the feeling or situation), I deeply and profoundly accept and love myself.” Repeat at least three times or until you strongly feel the self-respect despite the strong emotion.
• If needed, put the energy of the feeling in motion by safely hitting a pillow, making noises, writing your complaints or criticisms down, or venting to a reliable friend (pets make great listeners and continue to love us in spite of our stuff).
• Engage mindfulness by noticing what works well in your life which may include your ability to feel deeply and express yourself in creative rather than destructive ways. Note that you still have many choices even when external events or people won’t change.
• Develop a litany of thankfulness: “I’m grateful for my home; I’m grateful for warmth in stormy weather; I’m grateful for the loved ones in my life; I’m grateful for the support of my body; I’m grateful for the birds that just flew by, the beauty and rhythms of nature,” etc.
• This may seem artificial first, but remember the best way to change a negative feeling is to create different thoughts and actions. By just moving the body, we can change our sense of internal heaviness. By just expressing a new thought of kindness, we can move the mind to a more functional pattern.
• Affirm to yourself, “Each worry or complaint I feel is an opportunity for gratitude in some form”…. “ In mending the mind by expressing thanks, I now automatically shift and transform my being.”

I see such internal shifts in personal attitude as a miracle. The power to transform ourselves lies within each of us. The important thing is to notice the miracles that are all around us every day. The great physicist and philosopher Albert Einstein observed, “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

Every detail of our lives can transform itself to a brighter, higher frequency when we add the dimension of gratitude to our awareness. Make every day an occasion for thanksgiving!

Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer is author of Second Chance at Your Dream and 8 other books and  a leader in “re-firement” practices.

The title of the presentation is “Approaches to Addressing Trauma from Energy Psychology and Healing Touch.” Dorothea will include examples from her extensive work with long-term survivors of childhood abuse as well as more recent work with war veterans  to treat  Post -traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Another aspect of the presentation is to give the audience specific resources they use in dealing with people in distress.